Warmth

Isn't it ironic,
The way I constantly crave you,
Yet push you as far away as possible?
You would satisfy a deep craving,
Comfort me when nothing else did,
But why should I deserve you?

You are so loving,
Yet I'm so full of hate and dissatisfaction.
You would hold me like a little girl's teddy bear,
A tight hug of reassurance.

I would love to embrace your care,
But I simply cannot cling on any longer,
For sometimes kindness can be twisted.
Too much can make one weak and dependent,
Of which I cannot be.

I'm afraid I must push you away,
You should mother another delicate flower,
They deserve you more than I do.
I appreciate your love deeply,
But you do not fill that emptiness looming inside of me,
So I'm not worth the effort.
All the heat in the world couldn't fill this hole.